"Limitations"

In life many times, a person wishes to accomplish some new goal or achieve some new direction for themselves. In that instance, a person has many things going through his or her mind. Will I be able to achieve this goal? Will it be worth my effort in the end? Will this decision cost me later on in life? To answer each one of those questions takes honesty on the part of the individual. He or she must know his or her own limitations. Herein lies the problem.

A person must be aware of his or her own limitations. That would mean knowing and promoting your strong points and working on your weak ones. In this area I find lately that, if allowed, people will take it upon themselves to set limits for you. They will tell you how far you can go and what you are and are not capable of doing. You may have a goal set that they themselves don't see the value in or that they had at one time and couldn't achieve. At any rate, they allow their negative attitudes to be known. They intentionally do things to limit your progress and everything that is within their power to do they perform. If not all at once, gradually they set out to limit you as someone in the past has limited them.

Now whether you know me personally, or you've just been reading my blogs, you know that this is not the mentality that I subscribe to. One human does not have the ability to specify the limitations of another. Why?

1. Humans cannot read the heart. They don't know your inmost thoughts and intentions.

2. They don't know what you've had to face or what you've overcome.

3. They don't know your work ethic.

4. They cannot tell the future.

Bottom line, no one can decide for you what your limits are. They can however exert enough negative influence to dissuade you from achieving you goals. But, that's only if you are easily swayed, swayed by people who neither know your potential or have faith in your abilities. You know yourself, and having said that you know what you can accomplish and when you can accomplish it. If you know like I know, then you know and believe that you can accomplish anything at anytime.

That picture is one taken atop Mount Everest. I'm sure somebody didn't believe this could be done either!

"Facing Fears"

"You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face... The danger lies in refusing to face the fear, in not daring to come to grips with it... You must make yourself succeed every time. You must do the thing you think you cannot do." - Eleanor Roosevelt

Many times in life you have stare face to face into the one thing in life that you are totally unprepared for, and yet strangely here you are toe to toe, chest to chest with you fear. Neither party is willing to back down. Each unwilling to recognize the right of way of the other party.

Challenges in life most often come at the most inopportune time. They come when you're already taxed, already pushed to your physical limits, and already exhausted from previous battles. Yet, there is a funny thing about human beings: We are built to exceed our limits. Think for a moment and go back in your mind. Can you remember thinking the same thing about one of the obstacles that you utterly obliterated in the past? Can you remember the feeling you had when you successfully weathered a horrendous storm of difficulties? Of course you do. That's why at the moment that a new obstacle surfaces. You tend not to panic but to go into the mode that you are most familiar with. You go into the "hero" mode as I would like to call it. You have in the back of your mind a thought that you have held with you ever since your first victory. You know you can win, and better than that you know that your victory will not be some long and drawn out battle. You can win and you can do it right now.

I digress to say that the "hero" mindset is reserved for those who want to win in the first place and not allow themselves to be encumbered by doubt or temporary ignorance. The drive to keep going in the face of hardship is one that cannot be done without in this case. If this trait is not present then the individual will be swallowed up whole by his own imperfections and insecurities.

A person with the "hero" mindset works through pain and believes its just weakness escaping the body. I live on that level and I have found it to be not only effective but rather liberating.

Couldn't help myself with the picture. Rocky and Russian...classic.
Source: http://www.gaia.com/quotes/topics/facing+fear#ixzz0JpItFeSW&D

"Struggle"

Time will bring the real end of our trial
One day there'll be no remnants no trace
No residual feelings within ya
One day you won't remember me.

Your face will be the reason I smile
But I will not see what I cannot have forever
I'll always love ya
I hope you feel the same.

Oh, you played me dirty, your game was so bad
You toyed with my affliction
Had to fill out my prescription
For the remedy
I had to set you free.

Away from me
To see clearly
The way that love can be when you are not with me
I had to lead
I had to let
I had to leave
I had to live

If I can't have you
Let love set you free
To fly your pretty wings around.

Pretty wings, your pretty wings, your
Pretty wings. Pretty wings around.

I came wrong you were right
Transformed your love into a lie
Baby believe me I'm sorry I told you lies

I turned day into night
Sleep till I die a thousand times
I should have showed you better nights, better times, better days
And I miss you more and more

If I can't have you
Let love set you free
To fly your pretty wings around
-Maxwell, "Pretty Wings"

For a short while now one of my brothers has been telling me to listen to this song that's out now by one of my favorite artists, Maxwell. So, I burn it on a cd and listened, its called "Pretty Wings" by the way. And as I sat in my truck on the ride home I really listened. As he sang, I thought. A flood of memories crowded my mind. Memories of a girl I loved so much that I was willing to give everything up just to keep her with me, just to keep her safe.

It took me back to how I felt standing in the rain watching her leave me forever. Watching my whole future slip away from me and there was absolutely nothing I could do. Even if there was something I could do, sadly, I didn't have the energy to do it. As the rain streamed down my face and soaked my clothes, I hated the clouds because at that moment they could weep and I could not. Or maybe they wept in my behalf. In any event, I felt taxed, taxed to the point of breaking. I stared into a bottomless chasm and had no desire to restrain myself from falling.

Needless to say I didn't eat, sleep, or even function quite the same as I used to prior to this happening. I hated myself for letting her leave, for not fighting for her. After all, she was supposed to be my wife.

The song is finished now and sit in my truck stunned but at the same time oddly liberated. The song had said what I had been feeling for a while after I found myself again, after I again took control of my destiny, and after I had allowed the situation to be exactly what it was. Our two worlds could exist, but not in contact with each other. Though I loved her, I was killing myself just to keep her. Love like that isn't pure. Its tarnished. Too many things had happened and those things obscured what the love between us had truly been. It had died a long time ago and we fought just to keep the remnants of it alive.

I am thankful that I didn't allow this loss to destroy me.

"Obstacles"

"Defeat may test you; it need not stop you. If at first you don't succeed, try another way. For every obstacle there is a solution. Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. The greatest mistake is giving up." - Anonymous

In life many times a person is confronted with difficult situations. These situations may easily be subdued and life goes on. But, a situation becomes an obstacle when in life's race you have to carry this burdensome issue with you until either it has worked itself out or you have put positive energies into working it out. I will be the first to tell you that neither avenue is an easy one. It is as if you know what needs to happen to relieve yourself of your burden yet you don't have the sufficient resources at present to effect change. Or it could be that something deep inside you tells you that even if you do use the proper energies that the situation will not change but that it will add more to your burden.

More specifically though, people can prove themselves an obstacle to you. For almost 2 years now I have been struggling with just such an obstacle. Just lately it has been my determination not to allow anyone to have an influence on me that make me harbor resentment. Easier said than done! More times than not the offender feels that mercy should be extended, though when they were committing the offense they had no regard for the other person. Then also if you are genuinely trying to be a good person, then you feel obligated to respond with such forgiveness. Yet, the same situation continues to recur. At what point do you digress and set firm boundaries for this person or group of people? If you know me then you know that this decision is one that will be made sooner than later. I have a more direct way of handling situations like this. Usually, the offenders will try to make you look like a monster of sorts because you refuse to budge even a millimeter on the stance you've taken. But didn't we just establish that their pattern of behavior is recurring. I can not speak for anyone else, but myself. I cut people like this off at the knees. I deal only with difficulties I have to deal with. Extra anxieties are the first ones to go. Yet, I will admit the manner in which I choose to cut individuals off is vicious to say the least. But in my defense I am a very patient individual. I believe in change over time, but I won't accept a second of disrespect, especially from those who are judgmental. Everyone who has worked hard to get where they are can understand me quite clearly. A person who sees you working hard and would rather tear you down mentally and emotionally does not deserve the courtesy of being spoken to or treated with dignity because they don't afford you any. Sadly, I have even had to bar these individuals from my house completely. This was done to drive home the point that I am the head of my house and any decisions that are made will come through me or they will meet with unimaginable opposition. To the point where when they visit they sit outside in their vehicles parked in the street. However, they wish to handle the situation, just know that I mean business.

But in the midst of all of this I can not help but to think that if I reacted like they do, it would make you no better than them.

"Reflection"

Today we take it easy people. We been going hard all week. Let's take a break and just mellow out. I mean today is Friday, the work week is most definitely about to end and all I can say is "Thank You". Its funny how you worry so much about your livelihood, but at the same time your livelihood could contribute to your downfall. Case in point: Some work themselves into a stupor the first 30-40 years of their lives with no regard for their health and they spend the latter 40 trying to get their health back. So, please take care of yourselves. You only get one life and you should make the best of it. Live a balanced life and you will be able to enjoy all your life. You won't be poor and you may not be rich, but with the enjoyment of life comes family and good friends. I'll take that over the headaches of striving to be wealthy any day. BE EASY!

"My Seed"

In this post I wanted to display some of my writing skills. Poetry is not my only strong suit:

"My Seed"

As I sit and contemplate what is about to transpire, I see a small life housed in the womb of its mother. I toy with the notion of its gender. Thinking that if it is a boy I will name it after me and teach it all my admirable qualities and yet at the same time educate it about my more dark qualities by what I unconsciously do. If it is a girl, I will protect it with all I am and muster up what is needed to meet any deficiency housed in my imperfect psyche.
Yet, as I contemplate their beginning with the intention of making it a good one, I began to journey back into my childhood wondering if my parents pondered over my beginnings, if they planned for me to be more than I was at this single moment in time. I wondered if my mother had been praying that my life began with me being healthy and ready to begin my journey on this planet. She surely wanted my life to have a purpose that would cause me joy and fulfillment.
My thoughts linger more with her because, she would prove to be the reason why I would teach my child. She would be the one to teach me and equip me for the world. Seeing that she was the single parental force during my life made me realize the depth of courage that rearing children entails.
Throughout the whole of her struggle to raise a boy into a man, I had not once believed that I was a burden on her tired and already weary shoulders. She would never even hint at the fact that she maybe had made a mistake in taking on 5 children in total that she had expected help with, and yet received none. She struggled with no less than two jobs to make ends meet.
I wondered if I would have the fortitude and bravery that was reflected in my upbringing. I had many a positive influences. These influences made me accept responsibility to a higher power as to what I would choose to do with my free will. Could I knowingly direct this gift in the direction that it should go, with the same calm reserve and dignified demeanor that my matriarch blessed me with?
If I couldn’t, I resolve to give it the best of all my energies. I would give my child a strong head to admire and rest its hopes upon. If ever it needed me, I would not be far away, not even far enough to be oblivious to its small voice. I would show the child what is truly the role of one who wishes to mount the life of another on one’s shoulders. I would earn the title ‘Father’. I would break the cycle that had begun so long ago. I would not despise the gift given to me. I would stand when seemingly everyone else had taken their leave. I would fight when everyone else willingly had given out. I would be what I was created to be. I would make my mother and my child proud to call me a father.

One of the main reasons why I wrote this passage is because truthfully being reliable was one of the last things my father could be called. For most people that would have been an excuse to amount to absolutely nothing. However, you read me wrong as a person if you think I'm not going to progress even in the face of substantial obstacles. I break barriers as a way of life.....

"Can You Dig It?"

Today's post is one that is one of the most deadly epidemics in the African American Community: "2006 CDC data tell us that about half of the just over 1 million Americans living with HIV or AIDS are black."

“Fresh”


Its Friday night, work is finished
And for 2 days I’m free.
A taper, a new fit, and a pair of kicks later...I’m Fresh!
I got 2 days to see what I can see.
Because you see...I’m Fresh!
So, I shower and shave looking forward to going out
Because while I’m out, I’m a predator looking for prey,
I swoop down and carry that meat away because....I’m Fresh!
So after entering the club I slowly survey
I see her and she sees me, and she’s hot I will admit,
but I’m not impressed because…. I’m fresh!
So, I stroll up and buy her a drink and we converse about what she thinks-
Of men, life, and love.
In her eyes, I see the need to be attended to.
She wanted love and lovemaking.
Sorry, I could only give the latter because.... I’m Fresh!
1 2 3 4
“uhhhhhh”
and I’m done.
As I’m getting dressed and then turning the door knob,
I had fun and now I had to run.
But as I looked back and she’s clearly hurt and ashamed,
Her bright smile turned into pain.
I got what I wanted, we had played the game.
Another down and many to go before the countdown is done.
Life cut short before it had even begun. Why?
Because…… I’m Fresh!
But if only they knew how fresh I am
I got 2 years outta 5.
But I won’t be the only one.
I’m sorry I won’t be the only one to die.
One night and a life of sorrow.
Friday was nice, I’ll do the same tomorrow.
Lure em’ in and spring my trap, and unless you’re Magic Johnson
There ain’t no coming back.
I gotta get the job done fight the clock as I go because I’m……
Well, you already know.

Please watch yourself...you just never know!